8 things I don't want you to know

I think that one of the most attractive parts of social media is that you can pretend to be anyone. You can be super witty, always happy, the feisty one or any number of personas you choose to put on even though the people who know the 'real' you know that's a load of BS.

Now don't get me wrong I enjoy that aspect of anonymity as much as the next person but the blogs and YTers that I enjoy the most are actually the people who seem to share more of themselves with the rest of us. So in an effort to peel back another layer on this onion (and seriously if anyone gets that reference I'll be really impressed) here are 8 things that are true about me but maybe I'd rather you didn't know:

1. I don't drink alcohol: While I am not ashamed of this decision it always brings a lot of "but why" or "are you kidding me" reactions that make me feel put on the spot. The real reason is because I get an allergic-type reaction where I get red welts on my face but either way who cares right?

2. I'm overweight: Now we can call it plumpy, winter weight, the obvious outcome of having Syndrome X or whatever.... but if I need to shop in the "bigger" section and shops then I'm going to own that and call it what it is. Why do you think I like makeup and nail polish so much???

3. I'm well educated: In my workplace having a degree is not helpful but it doesn't diminish the fact that I spent years at university when other people were backpacking across Europe or getting started on their careers. I'm glad I did it for me but now when I tell people about my studies it just feels like bragging, plus there is always that one person who is completely hopeless at work who always tells people how smart they are (at least at my workplace there is) and I don't want to be mistaken for them.

4. I cry when I get angry: I have no idea why I do this but shit it always happens at completely the wrong time and I end up feeling embarrassed. I also cry when I'm happy so buggered if I know what is going on there.

5. I avoid confrontation: Now this may not seem like something to be not happy with but what it really means is that I let people treat and talk to me like crap and say nothing rather than having a dramatic moment. Mostly this is because I hate yelling and I mean I HATE HATE HATE yelling. It is something I am aware of and that I am working on but people often misjudge me for being weak because of it. Being confrontational is not the same as being strong... just putting that out there. I don't doubt that I am strong I just don't want to fight unless I am totally cornered.

6. I'm proud: The last time I saw my dad alive I didn't tell him I loved him because I was waiting for him to say it first. Granted I was 16 but when he died a couple of weeks later I learned a very valuable and hard lesson - being proud is very similar to being stupid. I wont ever make that same mistake again with the people I love.

7. I am a crazy cat lady: Seriously I am. I love everything about my cats - their personalities, their meows, their fur and their smells. I love paws and whiskers and their breath. I was expecting to be an old cat lady before T came along and if for any reason he leaves I expect to go back to that plan again.

8. I wear my pjs a lot at home: Look I have cats so I don't want my "outside' clothes covered in cat hair, that means as soon as I am home on go my pjs - 2pm in the afternoon I really don't care. But if you drop past my place 9 out of 10 times I'll be in my pjs - consider yourself warned.

So there you have it, some of the warts in my "warts-and-all" tale.

By the way, I let my husband read this post before publishing and he said that I was telling everyone bad things about myself and why would I do that. Well... that is actually quite simple to answer because I don't want to live in the fantasy. I don't want to present myself, my blog or what I stand for generally to be anything other than what is true. I'm not interested in being in the 'cool crowd' or being 'in' or being a hipster, at 36 all I am interested in is being me. Not to mention I am way past the point of not accepting these truths about myself. I accept thee Jac.... lol but you get what I mean (or I hope you do).

If you are feeling brave I'd love to hear some of the things you'd rather people didn't know and if you do decide to do a post please link it below.

Jac x

A letter of my intentions for 2012

Image source

 
So I've had a bad case of writer's block. Perhaps not so much writer's block as I know what I want to say but I am having trouble working out the best way to express what I want to say (so expression block?).

I've read a lot of posts about goals and resolutions for 2012 and I too have some things I would like to work on this year, but how to put out there what and why I want to achieve these things I've struggled to do. So it's the 14th of January and instead of continuing to eyeball this month and procrastinate further I'm doing it with a letter of my intentions for 2012 to 2012...

NOTD: Zoya's Ivanka

Ivanka (along with Jo) was one of my most desired shades from the Zoya range - yet I had to wait ages to order it as it was pretty consistently out of stock. I think sometimes it's a bad idea to hype up shades in my head as my expectations always become too high. Does that mean Ivanka is a dud - not at all - it just didn't change my life and perhaps that's a little bit of an unrealistic expectation for a nail polish anyway ;)

Anyway onto the important stuff what is Ivanka -well Zoya call it a "mermaid green sparkling metallic" but I'd say it's more citrus than mermaid if that makes sense to you. Either way being more of a glitter finish this was more work to get off but it's a great bright for anytime of year. All photos were taken with 2 coats in natural sunlight.

A lovely shade from a quality polish company. It may not be a HG colour for me but it definitely gets the job done.

Jacx